Women with Autism

I never wanted to post something like this. In the year 2025, I’ve lost three family members, and I’m afraid of losing more because this year has been tragic losing them. This is the first time I’ve ever really grieved. When I was younger, I lost a lot of family to cancer and other diseases, but never really cared because I was too young to understand death.

For most of my life I’ve struggled with Emetophobia. It started when I was in second grade and threw up in my bed in the middle of the night. I honestly didn’t mind vomiting, but I was worried because for whatever reason I was fixated on telling my mom what happened when she came to check on me. I kept thinking over and over what I was going to say, like it had to be perfect English and grammar lol. This happened again later in the year, but this time, the fear was about me wanting to be independent. My parents asked me to open the door, and I told them no. Eventually they got me to open it, and I ended up running to their room crying. My actual fear of vomiting didn’t start until I was about eight or nine years old and I was sick with the stomach flu. Since that time, I have not thrown up. It has been ten years and I’m dreading every day that goes by because I’m so afraid that the day will come. My mom has the same fear but she has it way worse than me. I have the typical reaction when I see people throwing up, I cringe for a second and walk away from it, but my mom completely freaks out and will run and hide. I remember one time when I was about five years old, I was feeling sick at my younger sister’s birthday party after drinking too many juice boxes. Unable to speak, I ran to my mom gagging. She immediately yelled out to her mom, and she took me to the bathroom while my mom ran and hid. Once I had finished throwing up, I went out to see my mom crying in the corner. She told me that she developed her fear at about the same age I did, because her sister threw up on her. She went 15 years without throwing up, and when she did, told me it wasn’t that bad. Yet she talked about it for a long time afterwards. Is this fear genetic? And how can I fix it?

My parents tend to push me when I need help doing something, yet when I’ve mastered a task, they always want to help me with it. The pressure began last year when I turned 18. It started when I had a doctor’s appointment. My mom booked it for me, drove me there, and walked me in. However, when we got halfway through the lobby, my mom paused and said to me, “You kinda need to check yourself in because you’re 18 now. Here’s your insurance card, I’m going to go sit down.” I froze in panic. I not only was nervous to talk to someone behind the counter, but I had never checked myself in or used my insurance card before, so I had no idea how to navigate this. I looked at my mom, and she just glared at me and motioned me to go. Once I finally managed to check myself in, my mom added another layer of pressure to this appointment. When the nurse called my name, I stood up and looked at my mom, signaling for her to come with me. She calmly asked me, “Do you just want to go back?” I was frustrated but went back by myself, another thing I’ve never done before. My dad is the opposite, he always asked if I wanted him to go in with me and if I know what I’m doing. It makes me a little frustrated but I’m glad he cares about me mentally. Since that time, I’ve booked my own appointments, called doctors over the phone, and gone into appointments completely by myself (my mom drives me, but I have her wait in the car.) I don’t like admitting it, but doing this stuff myself has really helped me not be so nervous, whenever my mom pressures me to do it I get mad or freeze up. However, my mom always coddles me when I am doing things I already know how. For example, when her and I were traveling, it was time for me to take my medication. It was in her bag, so I asked her to grab it for me. She did, but then proceeded to walk me through the whole process of taking it. She said, “With this medication, you only have to take this amount.” I was frustrated because I have been taking my own medication for years, and knew how much medicine to take. She did the same thing a few weeks ago. She had bought me some cans of condensed soup while she was shopping, and then said to me, “These soups are condensed, so you have to add a can of water to them.” I was frustrated so I told her I knew that already, and my dad must’ve been annoyed with me, because right after that he yelled “Thanks Mom!” I was so mad after that. Does anyone else feel this way? Also,

Hi everyone! My name is Brianna Sandner. I am a Sociology MA student at the University of South Florida. I am also a late-diagnosed autistic woman (diagnosed at almost 21) and lover of all things #actuallyautistic.

She's got the manic going on :( stuff is stressful, I much prefer the phoneless/contactless ordering via apps lol.

Abstract

Hello everyone! I posted about a month or so ago about a new website for us. I decided to add an old school BB forum since Reddit has become unusable due to censorship. We have Lemmy, and it’s awesome! We simply need an exclusive area for us that are ND.

Hello,

For starters, I am self diagnosed. I have brought it up to my family doctor, therapist and psychiatrist a few times. Each time I was shut down because I either didn't have problems with communication (or some other dated reasoning) or that there was no point to be diagnosed as an adult because there are no support systems for that. Which was disheartening to say the least. I always knew I was not neurotypical but I didn't have the words to describe it yet. I was just quirky, weird, introverted but also out spoken with a strong sense of justice. I began going down that rabbit whole because of tiktok, honestly. It had been on my radar before hand but I had an ignorant view on what autism was before that, I had never even heard of a female being diagnosed. I was however diagnosed with ADHD when I was 26. As well as schizotypal, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. To name a few. None of them felt right to me. Until that is, I started listening and reading about autistic women when I was around 28. I had just had a 6 week trip to the mental health ward and was unknowingly on the road to the end of the bad relationship I was in (a blessing). That's when I started seriously thinking I might be autistic. Four years later at 32 I have accepted my self diagnosis as truth and don't doubt it nearly as often. I do sometimes wish I had an official diagnosis but I understand that's asking for alot. Most doctors dont have the knowledge of what autism can look like in women, let alone that it is a spectrum.